The Options

For many years I was a faithful "Day-timer" person. The system served me well. Day-timer is one of many systems that you can use to keep track of your life and administrative duties. It is a paper system. I, and many of you, have moved to a digital system. The basic rule remains the same! USE IT!

There are many options out there for keeping track of contacts, lists, projects, etc. The important thing is to find one that you can and will use. Currently, I am committed to Google Email, Contacts and Calendar. These I use all of the time, often on my phone. It works pretty well for me - WHEN I REMEMBER THE BASIC RULE - USE IT!.

When you are using a system you need to make it your own. I cannot create labels or tags for you. I cannot sort the various items for you. You have to create that part of your system. I know artist-type people whose system looks like they used a 64 crayon box of Crayola Crayons. Others are strictly black and white. Some of the things you need to do follows.

1. Have a way to sort and store your email. You might use names or projects dates (pretty difficult over a long time). Learn to create rules in you digital system and these things can be done automatically.
2. Have a way to prioritize your to do list. Again, you can color code or letter code the list. Sometimes by altering an item simply you get a better list. For example, I will add a "0" (zero) to an item if I want it at the top of my list (in a digital system). Numbers always come before letters in sorting in ascending order.
3. Use your calendar to help with you list. Put a list item in the day you need to be working on it or the name of someone you want to contact at a later date in that day.

The bottom line for all of this info is,

Have a system and use it.

There is too much to do!!!

In either a Twitter post or a Facebook post someone commented with "Wow" after my last entry. Having just re-read that post I concur, WOW! That is a lot of stuff. Fortunately we don't usually think of all the things that need to be done at the same time. There are a few that get our attention and we focus on those, many times forgetting - or letting them "fall through the cracks" as the saying goes - the rest of the things we need to do. That makes it easier for us to deal with everything BUT, it also will get us in trouble when we forget to call ????? who has been waiting to hear from us. This explains the need for a CALENDAR and a LIST.

Your calendar should always be handy and you should NEVER make and appointment or a promise without looking at it first - from personal experience. (It is not good to double book appointments.) When you make appointments don't forget to factor in travel time. You can't finish and appointment at 1:00pm on one side of town and start the next at 1:00pm. on the other side. You need travel time. As long as you have your calendar out you ought to schedule two things right now. Schedule your teaching prep time (if you have these responsibilities) and your date night (if you are married).

Your LIST should be with you also. Anything that comes to mind that you need to do (hence the term TO DO LIST) should go on the list. Many of you may think your memory is sufficient - "I won't forget" you say. I have had many people schedule appointments with me only to find they aren't there for the appointment because, "I forgot." Get in the habit of writing it down. It will only serve you in the long run. Oh yeah, don't forget you have to look at both your calendar and your list.

Now you have a CALENDAR, a LIST, and if you did the suggested "assignment" from the last post, a list of what you have to do in your ministry. This is a great start. We will continue with the next post.

Don't forget to add your insights, thoughts, suggestions, and questions in the COMMENTS.

What Do I Do?

I've been a pastor for over 30 years—ouch! In that time I have needed and given three different types of care; pastoral care, mentoring and coaching. Sometimes I really mix these up and I'm not really sure it makes a lot of difference. But it is good to have some clarity at the start. If you are preparing for leadership or in the midst of it, having an understanding with those you are leading helps.

Pastoral care

I would define pastoral care as the practice of looking after a person (or group) and their spiritual, personal and social well-being. The primary responsibility of the pastor of a church is to see that this is done. Many people are membered in a church and never receive this kind of care. Unfortunately, many pastors never receive this kind of care either. One of the joys of my life, as a man, husband, father and pastor is that I have had this kind of care. My pastor would sit with me on a regular basis and love me by asking me about my finances, my relationship with my wife and kids (he also asked my wife about this occasionally, keeping me honest), my ministry/church, my physical well-being, and my personal spiritual life. After 27 years, our meetings are not as frequent but the topics are the same.

Mentoring

Mentoring is a process where a more experienced colleague is chosen to pass on a particular skill to a less experienced person (my definition). Note that this is not always "older to younger." There are times when a younger person may have a skill that someone older needs, and mentoring takes place. In our discussion mentoring could take place in the areas of preaching, writing, pastoral care, or any number of different areas. Usually this is for a limited, defined time.

Coaching

Coaching (again, my definition) is the providing of guidance, feedback, and direction in response to the one you are working with at the time. The second year I was in Brazil a friend gave me a scholarship for a ministry coach for one year. On a monthly basis we would have a one hour conversation reviewing what I was doing, giving me feedback and suggestions that were very helpful to my work in Brazil. The agendas of our meetings were established by me and he then helped me think through each item. I am still using some of the skills he passed on to me.

These three often overlap and we should not get hung up on keeping them too separate. They are all needed in our lives. I want to be mature in Christ and I want those whom I have primary care for to become mature in Christ. That is going to take more than one person, more than me. Let's rejoice when others are able to impart to those we are relating to more skills and maturity. It is one kingdom.

Feel free to add your comments, definitions and experience. Here are some questions to get the "juices" flowing.

•  How have you experienced these three methods of helping other people in your own life?
  
• Think through the people who have helped you grow. Pick one of them and explain how they imparted what they had to you.
• What was you understanding of “pastor” and how has it changed as you read through this chapter?

INTEGRITY

"I will be there!"

The event comes and goes…and you never show. There may have been a good reason you could not keep your commitment and yet you never communicated that you would not be there. How important are the words we speak? They are much more important than we think. Are you someone who says you will do something and then forgets? Are you known for being late or not fulfilling your promises?

1 Peter 3:10 (NIV)  ¹⁰For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."

The question is what is deceitful speech? Is it only when we intentionally tell a lie? Does it include the light-hearted remarks we make and the automatic responses we toss at each other in our conversations? Technically, you are probably safe in some of those areas. Perhaps a better question is, "Am I honoring those I'm speaking to in what I say?" When we make a remark like "Let's have lunch sometime," we probably are not taking part in deceitful speech. If, however, we don't follow-up on it, am I honoring that person? My word, what I say and how I follow-up, establishes the kind of person I am.

How important are words? In Genesis God gives man the responsibility of naming his creation. What man called something was its name. When the father blessed the son it was a finished deal that could not be reversed. (Check out Isaac’s blessing of his sons in Gen. 27.) The prophets caused it to rain by their words. And the greatest declaration, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. (Jn. 1:1-3) THE WORD is the Son of God, Jesus. How significant that God uses “word.”

The parent who constantly refers to their child as stupid, dumb, worthless, a mistake, or an embarrassment are not just "spouting off." They are affecting the outcome of their child’s life. Word’s are not just sounds from our mouths.

Can people depend on us to do those things we say we are going to do? Are other people important enough for us to be concerned about what we say to them? Most often the only person we are thinking about when we are chit-chatting is ourselves. When we are with close friends we are extended much grace. They understand the type of person we are. They understand our sense of humor. They understand that our words may not be important to us. If we say that we will be there, they know we won't. (I'm not sure if this is grace or enablement.) It certainly is not how I want to be known.

We establish patterns in our lives that become automatic. When we meet new people our "automatic" ways can become very problematic. Suppose you meet someone for the first time, have a nice chat and say you will call for lunch sometime. Then totally forget about it. Friends understand—kind of. This new person however may have had many poor experiences with people in the church whose word is not important. They really thought you might be different. You were their last attempt to follow this Jesus. You never called. This person sees that Christians don't care.

Our culture is full of stories of people who spoke harshly to a parent, child, or friend only to find that they were the last words they would ever speak to that person. The person is dead but the one who spoke those harsh words must now live with their words. In some cases this leads to major psychological problems and years of suffering.

We need to understand that our words are important. People don't know what we are thinking. They only know what we say and do. Our impact as leaders will be greatly determined by our words. None of us is perfect! We will forget things, speak at the wrong times and say the wrong things. Our goal though needs to be “...excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us..." (2 Corinthians 8:7 NIV) When we fall short of this we need to learn to ask forgiveness quickly and sincerely.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• You already have a reputation among your friends and family. If someone were to ask them about your speech/word patterns, how would they answer?

• Explain how you think about commitments and promises made to people and how good you are at keeping them.  What about small things like being on time, or getting things done?

• Remember we take small steps. What is one thing you are going to do to "excel in speach..." today or this week.