What Do I Do?

I've been a pastor for over 30 years—ouch! In that time I have needed and given three different types of care; pastoral care, mentoring and coaching. Sometimes I really mix these up and I'm not really sure it makes a lot of difference. But it is good to have some clarity at the start. If you are preparing for leadership or in the midst of it, having an understanding with those you are leading helps.

Pastoral care

I would define pastoral care as the practice of looking after a person (or group) and their spiritual, personal and social well-being. The primary responsibility of the pastor of a church is to see that this is done. Many people are membered in a church and never receive this kind of care. Unfortunately, many pastors never receive this kind of care either. One of the joys of my life, as a man, husband, father and pastor is that I have had this kind of care. My pastor would sit with me on a regular basis and love me by asking me about my finances, my relationship with my wife and kids (he also asked my wife about this occasionally, keeping me honest), my ministry/church, my physical well-being, and my personal spiritual life. After 27 years, our meetings are not as frequent but the topics are the same.

Mentoring

Mentoring is a process where a more experienced colleague is chosen to pass on a particular skill to a less experienced person (my definition). Note that this is not always "older to younger." There are times when a younger person may have a skill that someone older needs, and mentoring takes place. In our discussion mentoring could take place in the areas of preaching, writing, pastoral care, or any number of different areas. Usually this is for a limited, defined time.

Coaching

Coaching (again, my definition) is the providing of guidance, feedback, and direction in response to the one you are working with at the time. The second year I was in Brazil a friend gave me a scholarship for a ministry coach for one year. On a monthly basis we would have a one hour conversation reviewing what I was doing, giving me feedback and suggestions that were very helpful to my work in Brazil. The agendas of our meetings were established by me and he then helped me think through each item. I am still using some of the skills he passed on to me.

These three often overlap and we should not get hung up on keeping them too separate. They are all needed in our lives. I want to be mature in Christ and I want those whom I have primary care for to become mature in Christ. That is going to take more than one person, more than me. Let's rejoice when others are able to impart to those we are relating to more skills and maturity. It is one kingdom.

Feel free to add your comments, definitions and experience. Here are some questions to get the "juices" flowing.

•  How have you experienced these three methods of helping other people in your own life?
  
• Think through the people who have helped you grow. Pick one of them and explain how they imparted what they had to you.
• What was you understanding of “pastor” and how has it changed as you read through this chapter?

LEADERSHIP DEFINED

You have picked up this book thinking that maybe you are a leader. Or you want to be a leader and need to learn how. The first thing we should probably do is define our term—leader.

We say a leader is one who leads. This simple definition implies a capacity to lead, that someone is following, and that there is some direction of purpose (not necessarily good or bad) the leader has in mind. Good leadership is a great blessing to the nation, the family, the business, or the church.

Does secular leadership and Christian leadership differ? Certainly if we look at 1 Timothy 3:1-7 we see that one of the keys of Christian leadership is good character.

1 Timothy 3:1-7 ( ESV )
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

A Christian leader ought to reflect God’s character since he is the one that is served. The incarnate Christ has come to earth and inhabited his people. This, because of our very nature, makes us different from leaders in the secular world.

The Christian leader is first a follower then a leader. By definition a Christian is one who follows Christ (the root of the word is “little Christ”). It is only after following the one we call Jesus that we are able to lead anyone else.

Christian leaders are agents of change. We do not just want to see things happen we want to see peoples lives changed. We want to see lightness brought into a dark kingdom. We want to see the very nature of society changed. We focus on serving rather than demanding. We want to see babies become young men who become older men able to continue the teaching process.

The Christian leader is more concerned about equipping the people they lead than in building themselves a kingdom.