INTEGRITY

"I will be there!"

The event comes and goes…and you never show. There may have been a good reason you could not keep your commitment and yet you never communicated that you would not be there. How important are the words we speak? They are much more important than we think. Are you someone who says you will do something and then forgets? Are you known for being late or not fulfilling your promises?

1 Peter 3:10 (NIV)  ¹⁰For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."

The question is what is deceitful speech? Is it only when we intentionally tell a lie? Does it include the light-hearted remarks we make and the automatic responses we toss at each other in our conversations? Technically, you are probably safe in some of those areas. Perhaps a better question is, "Am I honoring those I'm speaking to in what I say?" When we make a remark like "Let's have lunch sometime," we probably are not taking part in deceitful speech. If, however, we don't follow-up on it, am I honoring that person? My word, what I say and how I follow-up, establishes the kind of person I am.

How important are words? In Genesis God gives man the responsibility of naming his creation. What man called something was its name. When the father blessed the son it was a finished deal that could not be reversed. (Check out Isaac’s blessing of his sons in Gen. 27.) The prophets caused it to rain by their words. And the greatest declaration, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. (Jn. 1:1-3) THE WORD is the Son of God, Jesus. How significant that God uses “word.”

The parent who constantly refers to their child as stupid, dumb, worthless, a mistake, or an embarrassment are not just "spouting off." They are affecting the outcome of their child’s life. Word’s are not just sounds from our mouths.

Can people depend on us to do those things we say we are going to do? Are other people important enough for us to be concerned about what we say to them? Most often the only person we are thinking about when we are chit-chatting is ourselves. When we are with close friends we are extended much grace. They understand the type of person we are. They understand our sense of humor. They understand that our words may not be important to us. If we say that we will be there, they know we won't. (I'm not sure if this is grace or enablement.) It certainly is not how I want to be known.

We establish patterns in our lives that become automatic. When we meet new people our "automatic" ways can become very problematic. Suppose you meet someone for the first time, have a nice chat and say you will call for lunch sometime. Then totally forget about it. Friends understand—kind of. This new person however may have had many poor experiences with people in the church whose word is not important. They really thought you might be different. You were their last attempt to follow this Jesus. You never called. This person sees that Christians don't care.

Our culture is full of stories of people who spoke harshly to a parent, child, or friend only to find that they were the last words they would ever speak to that person. The person is dead but the one who spoke those harsh words must now live with their words. In some cases this leads to major psychological problems and years of suffering.

We need to understand that our words are important. People don't know what we are thinking. They only know what we say and do. Our impact as leaders will be greatly determined by our words. None of us is perfect! We will forget things, speak at the wrong times and say the wrong things. Our goal though needs to be “...excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us..." (2 Corinthians 8:7 NIV) When we fall short of this we need to learn to ask forgiveness quickly and sincerely.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• You already have a reputation among your friends and family. If someone were to ask them about your speech/word patterns, how would they answer?

• Explain how you think about commitments and promises made to people and how good you are at keeping them.  What about small things like being on time, or getting things done?

• Remember we take small steps. What is one thing you are going to do to "excel in speach..." today or this week.