What Do I Do?

I've been a pastor for over 30 years—ouch! In that time I have needed and given three different types of care; pastoral care, mentoring and coaching. Sometimes I really mix these up and I'm not really sure it makes a lot of difference. But it is good to have some clarity at the start. If you are preparing for leadership or in the midst of it, having an understanding with those you are leading helps.

Pastoral care

I would define pastoral care as the practice of looking after a person (or group) and their spiritual, personal and social well-being. The primary responsibility of the pastor of a church is to see that this is done. Many people are membered in a church and never receive this kind of care. Unfortunately, many pastors never receive this kind of care either. One of the joys of my life, as a man, husband, father and pastor is that I have had this kind of care. My pastor would sit with me on a regular basis and love me by asking me about my finances, my relationship with my wife and kids (he also asked my wife about this occasionally, keeping me honest), my ministry/church, my physical well-being, and my personal spiritual life. After 27 years, our meetings are not as frequent but the topics are the same.

Mentoring

Mentoring is a process where a more experienced colleague is chosen to pass on a particular skill to a less experienced person (my definition). Note that this is not always "older to younger." There are times when a younger person may have a skill that someone older needs, and mentoring takes place. In our discussion mentoring could take place in the areas of preaching, writing, pastoral care, or any number of different areas. Usually this is for a limited, defined time.

Coaching

Coaching (again, my definition) is the providing of guidance, feedback, and direction in response to the one you are working with at the time. The second year I was in Brazil a friend gave me a scholarship for a ministry coach for one year. On a monthly basis we would have a one hour conversation reviewing what I was doing, giving me feedback and suggestions that were very helpful to my work in Brazil. The agendas of our meetings were established by me and he then helped me think through each item. I am still using some of the skills he passed on to me.

These three often overlap and we should not get hung up on keeping them too separate. They are all needed in our lives. I want to be mature in Christ and I want those whom I have primary care for to become mature in Christ. That is going to take more than one person, more than me. Let's rejoice when others are able to impart to those we are relating to more skills and maturity. It is one kingdom.

Feel free to add your comments, definitions and experience. Here are some questions to get the "juices" flowing.

•  How have you experienced these three methods of helping other people in your own life?
  
• Think through the people who have helped you grow. Pick one of them and explain how they imparted what they had to you.
• What was you understanding of “pastor” and how has it changed as you read through this chapter?

Strengths and Weaknesses

One of the primary issues we deal with has to do with our strengths and weakness. The “Peter Principle” states that “every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” (The Peter Principle, Lawrence Peters, 1969) Phrasing it in my own words, we will continue to be promoted until we are unable to fulfill the needs of the last promotion. When this happens, we become frustrated, discouraged, angry, sometimes fired, and unproductive. What does this have to do with leadership in the church? Often times the same thing happens in the church. We see someone who is doing a marvelous job in a particular ministry, move them to another, perhaps more prestigious, ministry and they don’t experience the same success they had previously. Perhaps a common example is an associate pastor, youth leader or small group leader that has been very successful in their ministry and is tapped to be the Sr. Pastor. When the change takes place they do a poor job and constantly struggle with just maintaining the status quo. What happened? They stepped out of their area of giftedness and skill.

As leaders we are expected to be competent in three basic areas: dealing with people, proclamation, and production (The ability to get things done and make things happen whether numerical growth, greater financial contributions or a successful building program, for example.) Few of us, if any, are actually competent in all three areas. This lack of competency causes us to find various ways of coping with our lack: blame others, blame circumstances, avoid issues and people, keep things focused on another area so our weakness is not seen, or demonstrating a humility about our inability and doing nothing to change. This is a quick rode to major trouble in your life and in the life of those who follow you. How do we deal with this?

Recognize your call and your gifting. Yes, “you can do all things in Christ Jesus!” but it doesn’t mean you should or are able do it all. We need to know what we can do well. Where our gifting lies and what skills we have. Then we need to work within those parameters. It all comes from God. (II Cor. 3:4-5 “And such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.”) Rightly discern you gifts and talents with the help of those you trust. Jack Miller states the following spiritual laws: Only God is God; you are not God. See the problem is we have these confused, many times. If we put these laws in the right order we will find we are much more fruitful.

Do a self-evaluation. Ask the hard questions. What can I do that nobody else can do? What are my strengths? What am I good at? Where have I seen results? What do I enjoy doing? After you have answered these questions let someone else answer them for you—being sure to have an open heart to what God might be saying. Face the weaknesses others might see in you. Some of these weaknesses you can improve on with study and work. Others are more a part of who you are and you will need to work with that limitation.

One of the keys to being a good leader is to find people who can fill-in your weaknesses and work together with them. My personal conviction is that we were never meant to work alone. Churches should be led by plural leadership where men can fill-in what others are missing. Then we build a team of real strength under the guidance of God.

Where you can find ways (study, reading, classes, etc.) to improve you skills and weakness, do so. Where you cannot, acknowledge you are in over your head, have the courage to back out and move on, becoming a better leader.

Would love to hear you comments on the following questions.

• How well do you know who you are? What have you done to find out the answer to the question?
• How would you define your strengths and weakness?
• What do you need to do to discover, more fully, who you are and what you are to do?
• Finally, what is one thing you will do this week to become more acquainted with you?

DON’T QUIT

Having arrived at this page, I hope you have kept your journal. Go back to PERSONALITY  frequently and continue to let God adjust your personality and to challenge and change you. One character trait that we are going to look at in this chapter is being a person who finishes what he starts.

How many people have started out on a project - one they thought God had called them to - only to quit before they finish? There are all kinds of excuses. It was too hard. I forgot. Nobody was helping me. Something else came up. I just didn't feel that God was in it. Please understand, these can be good reasons for not finishing a project. More often than not, though, they are not legitimate reasons to quit but just excuses. How do you know the difference?

First we need to be sure we chose a task for a good reason and with good motivation. Suppose God has called you[1] to the mission field (you believe he has). Now (use your imaginations) you are in the midst of college (which is not an unusual time to get that call). Many people think they should quit and get at it. Others will finish college and having a substantial student loan debt they will get involved in something interesting (to pay back the  loans) and either forget the call or have excuses for not following through. We are not a people who like to wait - carrying a call for many years before we start. It may help to understand that God has carried you and your call since the beginning of time. He is patient. When God calls you to do something part of that call is the preparation for the call. That can mean school, training, short-term trips, other ministry, relationship development, and any number of different life experiences - maybe finishing this book. We often fail to understand that God is active in everything that is going on in our lives.

In 2003, after 23 years of pastoring a great church, God called Joanne (my wife) and I to full-time missions in Brazil. We understood that the 55 years we had lived on this planet were a preparation for this call, for this time in our lives. There were years of dryness, times of great pain - and great joy - times of abundance and times of want. We would not be who we are today without those experiences. For some reason we, as a people, have a very short attention span and a great deal of impatience.

It is worth looking at some Biblical leaders. Pick out two (David, Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Paul, Saul and/or others of your choice) and do a study (use your journal) of their preparation time for ministry. How old were they when they began their ministry (remember ministry is what you do in response to God's call on your life). What took place in their lives that would prepare them for this time? Explain how their successes and failures were tutors on their way to leadership. As you study their lives, consider how you would have reacted? Would you have quit? Acted differently? Why? As they entered ministry their success and failures continued. How did they finish and what part did these successes and failures play in the finishing of their ministry? How did God test each before they walked fully in their call?

If we know that God has called us - and we have all been called - then it is important to commit to finishing. Sometimes I look back and wonder how many lives might have been different had I not given up on them. How would my life be different had I finished what I felt God call me to do in this place or that. Don't give up. Don't quit. Have you been distracted from what God has called you to do? Finish well what you are currently doing and get on with what God has called you to do. In closing, consider the following Scripture verses.

Acts 20:24 (NIV) ²⁴However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.

1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIV) ²⁴Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Galatians 5:7 (NIV) ⁷You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?

2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NIV) ⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV) ¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• How have you been struggling in figuring out what God wants you to do with your life?
• Think back and write about a couple of areas where you did not finish. Include why you started, what you experienced in the middle of it and why you quit before it was finished.
• What are you in the middle of right now? How can you finish well?

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[1] Just a quick note about God's call: I am not speaking only of the pastorate or missions. I believe God calls us to all walks of life. Businessmen/women, doctors, lawyers, dentists, or any other profession or job (yes, even being a laborer) can be calls from God. Open you heart to his call. Some people have a very narrow definition of ministry. Don't believe it. Wherever God calls is ministry.