What Do I Do?

I've been a pastor for over 30 years—ouch! In that time I have needed and given three different types of care; pastoral care, mentoring and coaching. Sometimes I really mix these up and I'm not really sure it makes a lot of difference. But it is good to have some clarity at the start. If you are preparing for leadership or in the midst of it, having an understanding with those you are leading helps.

Pastoral care

I would define pastoral care as the practice of looking after a person (or group) and their spiritual, personal and social well-being. The primary responsibility of the pastor of a church is to see that this is done. Many people are membered in a church and never receive this kind of care. Unfortunately, many pastors never receive this kind of care either. One of the joys of my life, as a man, husband, father and pastor is that I have had this kind of care. My pastor would sit with me on a regular basis and love me by asking me about my finances, my relationship with my wife and kids (he also asked my wife about this occasionally, keeping me honest), my ministry/church, my physical well-being, and my personal spiritual life. After 27 years, our meetings are not as frequent but the topics are the same.

Mentoring

Mentoring is a process where a more experienced colleague is chosen to pass on a particular skill to a less experienced person (my definition). Note that this is not always "older to younger." There are times when a younger person may have a skill that someone older needs, and mentoring takes place. In our discussion mentoring could take place in the areas of preaching, writing, pastoral care, or any number of different areas. Usually this is for a limited, defined time.

Coaching

Coaching (again, my definition) is the providing of guidance, feedback, and direction in response to the one you are working with at the time. The second year I was in Brazil a friend gave me a scholarship for a ministry coach for one year. On a monthly basis we would have a one hour conversation reviewing what I was doing, giving me feedback and suggestions that were very helpful to my work in Brazil. The agendas of our meetings were established by me and he then helped me think through each item. I am still using some of the skills he passed on to me.

These three often overlap and we should not get hung up on keeping them too separate. They are all needed in our lives. I want to be mature in Christ and I want those whom I have primary care for to become mature in Christ. That is going to take more than one person, more than me. Let's rejoice when others are able to impart to those we are relating to more skills and maturity. It is one kingdom.

Feel free to add your comments, definitions and experience. Here are some questions to get the "juices" flowing.

•  How have you experienced these three methods of helping other people in your own life?
  
• Think through the people who have helped you grow. Pick one of them and explain how they imparted what they had to you.
• What was you understanding of “pastor” and how has it changed as you read through this chapter?