There is too much to do!!!

In either a Twitter post or a Facebook post someone commented with "Wow" after my last entry. Having just re-read that post I concur, WOW! That is a lot of stuff. Fortunately we don't usually think of all the things that need to be done at the same time. There are a few that get our attention and we focus on those, many times forgetting - or letting them "fall through the cracks" as the saying goes - the rest of the things we need to do. That makes it easier for us to deal with everything BUT, it also will get us in trouble when we forget to call ????? who has been waiting to hear from us. This explains the need for a CALENDAR and a LIST.

Your calendar should always be handy and you should NEVER make and appointment or a promise without looking at it first - from personal experience. (It is not good to double book appointments.) When you make appointments don't forget to factor in travel time. You can't finish and appointment at 1:00pm on one side of town and start the next at 1:00pm. on the other side. You need travel time. As long as you have your calendar out you ought to schedule two things right now. Schedule your teaching prep time (if you have these responsibilities) and your date night (if you are married).

Your LIST should be with you also. Anything that comes to mind that you need to do (hence the term TO DO LIST) should go on the list. Many of you may think your memory is sufficient - "I won't forget" you say. I have had many people schedule appointments with me only to find they aren't there for the appointment because, "I forgot." Get in the habit of writing it down. It will only serve you in the long run. Oh yeah, don't forget you have to look at both your calendar and your list.

Now you have a CALENDAR, a LIST, and if you did the suggested "assignment" from the last post, a list of what you have to do in your ministry. This is a great start. We will continue with the next post.

Don't forget to add your insights, thoughts, suggestions, and questions in the COMMENTS.

Administration for the Pastor

As always, your current position or responsibility is unknown to me. Many time the suggestions that are given can be adapted to your particular situation. If you find that you can't do that feel free to ask a question in the COMMENTS section and we will see what we can do.

Today let's be a pastor. It is your first workday after the weekend - for some that is Monday and for others it might be Tuesday. We will pass on the "at home stuff" for now. You arrive at your office or the place you do your "pastor" work. What has to happen between now and the next weekend?

Let's try and create a list. This is a one pastor office.

• teaching preparation (study, writing, thinking, praying)
• financial review (How is the income vs. expenses going? Do we need to cut some expenses?)
• pastoral meetings (marriage counseling, mentoring, discipling, meetings with various leaders)
• elders' meeting planning (agenda, resources)
• Christmas Service planning (children's program, choir, musicians, gifts, etc)
• Emails (reading and answering)
• Facebook (reading and responding where appropriate - some use Facebook instead of email)
• Write missionaries (often this is overlooked)
• review curriculum (Sunday school at all levels)
• Find a new usher (John just quit. Can I ask Luke?)
• Answer phone calls (listen to answering machine and return necessary calls)
• Visit hospital (hopefully this isn't necessary but...)
• Developmental reading (your own development as a pastor and leader needs to be nourished)
• Men's Bible Study (this is a group you lead on a weekly basis)
• Prayer (start you day in the office with this and take some prayer breaks through the day)
• Review various ministries of the church (What do they need? Where are the strengths and weaknesses? Are they doing OK?)
• Update Blog (only if you started one - should be done regularly to be effective)
• Follow-up on past meetings - do my action list from those meetings (What was it I had to do after the last elders' meeting? Leaders' team meeting?...more later)

This only a small part of what you need to do in your ministry but it is enough to get us panicked and/or overwhelmed. How do I begin?

This is the first day of your week. Pray first. Take several minutes just to lift up the planning you need to do. 

You should have a CALENDAR and LIST with you. Whether the CALENDAR is paper or digital makes no difference - IT DOES NEED TO BE THE SAME CALENDAR EACH TIME. The LIST may be considered a TO DO LIST or not. I like to call it MY LIST. It can be on paper or on a computer BUT as with the CALENDAR it is the same LIST you used last time and will use next time.

Enough for today. If you want an assignment, make up your own list of what you need to do in your ministry similar to the one I just listed. That is a key important part of administration - know what you have to do. 

Be sure to add any thoughts to the COMMENTS.

Confused?

The last post may have left you in some confusion. We are talking about ADMINISTRATION and yet I shared a method of establishing priorities in your life. Does that affect you skills in ADMINISTRATION? For sure.

If you can't administer you own life how can we begin to do it on a community level. We need to understand the need to begin with small things (our lives) before we can move on the bigger things (the church). As pastors/leaders we need to have our lives in order; not only have our lives in order but to know how to help others move into a life of order.

The chart I gave you last time is not difficult. You may have to adjust it depending on your life situation. If you are bi-vocational, the separation of WORK AND CHURCH makes some sense. If you are full-time in ministry your work and church columns may become one. Then there is A,B, and C, the Priority Rows. Row A would be those things that have to be done. They are critical to that column topic. They are not optional. Row B are those things that should be done. We need to schedule them in our calendar and soon. Row C are the things we would like to do and if there is any extra time we want to do them. In my experience Row A is easier than Rows B and C.

In doing this exercise you will have to move some things from the Priority A row to some other row. This can be difficult because we are placing a less important label on some things we have always done. Have fun working through this. Remember you can only have a limited number of items in Row A.

Once you have filled-in all 15 or so blocks take some time to review and be sure each item is placed in the block it belongs.

Why is this important? One of the lessons we need to learn is the one word answer, "No." If we understand our priorities we give ourselves one more tool to allow us to say "No." to the many requests that come our way.

If you are married, be sure to go over you priority list with your spouse - they have valuable insight into our lives. If you are single, be sure to go over the sheet with that person who would serve as your pastor, overseer, or accountability partner - they may be able to add some thoughts to yours.

Using this form with others can be very helpful in helping them to understand what they should be doing. You could also modify the column list and use it with your church. One option would be using one column - CHURCH - and then filling in the Priorities Rows. Another would be to make each column one of the major ministries of your church and having their respective leaders fill-in the priority rows. This would create a good place for discussions among your team.

Please add your comments and suggestions. One of the keys to leadership is to never stop learning.

Manage What!?

Relationships
Stuff

And now TIME, the third in our list of things we need to "manage." What do I mean by "managing time?" We each have exactly the same number of days, hours, minutes, and seconds available to us - acknowledging that we all die after some unknown number of years. We can't add more time but we can use (manage) the time in a way that makes us more effective, more rested, and more fun to be with.

The management of time affects both relationships and stuff. It is concerned with how much time I devote to each them. Remember I mentioned it didn't matter so much which system you used but that you were consistent with the system you choose to us? This really starts with time. How much time to I give to my relationships and to my stuff? This then overlaps into what are my priorities. What has God called me to focus my life on in this season - seasons will change. "Young and single" is a season. "Married without children" is a season. "Married with grown children and grandchildren" is a season. There are others - you get the idea.

So where do we begin?

How about reviewing our priorities for this season? How? You need two things:

• something that can capture your thoughts - paper or computer, usually
• something to use to record your thoughts - pencil/pen/marker or keyboard

Make three (3) horizontal lines across your "paper" (spreadsheet works well)
Now make five (5) evenly spaced vertical lines down your "paper" (spreadsheet works well)

Label the 5 columns, God, Family, Church, Work, and Personal
Label the 3 Rows -top to bottom, Priority A, Priority B, and Priority C
(You can download this form by clicking HERE)

Now what!!? Next episode.

Be sure to comment and enter into this process.

Manage what?

I want to continue this discussion, perhaps with myself, but it helps to write it out.

In the last post I wrote about "relationships" and what they are. I chose to start from the back so that "manage" was the last thing we will discuss. So what do I mean by stuff?

This depends on your job, family status (married, single, with kids...), and activities. Each of these categories have "stuff" associated with them. Paper, letters, files, print cartridges, toys, kitchen tools, sports equipment, lawn and garden equipment, certificates, finances, and anything else that you touch through the days. We can't begin to list all of it.

So why do we need to learn to manage these things, these inanimate objects? Because, though they are inanimate objects, not managing them will cause them at some time to come to life and bite you. This I guarantee.

Just a quick reminder that we are still talking about the general area of administration.

Let's work backward

In the last post I used the word "relationship" in explaining things we have to manage. Some may have a negative reaction to that idea. Let me explain. By relationship I mean those people who are in our lives. That includes God, my spouse, my children, my friends, and all those I touch in some way through a day. I used "relationship" because the idea of "managing people" seems like an invasion into their lives. And in fact I can't change them. I can, though, manage the investment I make in these relationships. That is the part I can work with day to day.

Administration - Gift, Skill or Stupid

I've been asked to develop a training module on ADMINISTRATION - for pastors. The comment was that many pastors have no idea how to do administration in their churches or in some cases their life. So, I thought I would develop it here so that I can add your feed back to my learning module.

By using the term "learning module," I'm saying, it is part of the training a pastor needs- probably only a part of the training in administration.

But you say, "I'm not the administrator, I have an administrator." Nice. But, you, the pastor need to have some ability in the area of administration. Why? Your own life, your families life and your church need you to be involved. No, you don't need to be THE administrator of your church but, you do need to be able,to some degree, to administrate, manage, order, and organize - with the help of the Holy Spirit - those things you have been given responsibility for by the Lord.

This is an area in which I have some gifting - it comes without much effort - and I have spent the last 40 years trying to improve. Perhaps you are one of the gifted or, perhaps, that is a gift that you never received. Let's see if we can help you develop the gift, or if you are the latter, give you some help developing some of the skills that will serve you, your family and your church family.

In the past week I have been trying to think about this question of administration. But first, let's get one thing clear, I may not always refer to God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit directly, but everything I write has their involvement implied.

There are two thoughts - so far - that seem important.

1. the system you use is not as important as being consistent in your use of the system
2. you need to manage three things: time, stuff, and relationships.

So what do we mean by administration? My definition would run something like, administration is that set of skills/gifts that allow my life to operate in a way that brings me a sense of peace at the end of the day.

I'm going to stop there for now. I will be interested in receiving your comments and thoughts.

What Do I Do?

I've been a pastor for over 30 years—ouch! In that time I have needed and given three different types of care; pastoral care, mentoring and coaching. Sometimes I really mix these up and I'm not really sure it makes a lot of difference. But it is good to have some clarity at the start. If you are preparing for leadership or in the midst of it, having an understanding with those you are leading helps.

Pastoral care

I would define pastoral care as the practice of looking after a person (or group) and their spiritual, personal and social well-being. The primary responsibility of the pastor of a church is to see that this is done. Many people are membered in a church and never receive this kind of care. Unfortunately, many pastors never receive this kind of care either. One of the joys of my life, as a man, husband, father and pastor is that I have had this kind of care. My pastor would sit with me on a regular basis and love me by asking me about my finances, my relationship with my wife and kids (he also asked my wife about this occasionally, keeping me honest), my ministry/church, my physical well-being, and my personal spiritual life. After 27 years, our meetings are not as frequent but the topics are the same.

Mentoring

Mentoring is a process where a more experienced colleague is chosen to pass on a particular skill to a less experienced person (my definition). Note that this is not always "older to younger." There are times when a younger person may have a skill that someone older needs, and mentoring takes place. In our discussion mentoring could take place in the areas of preaching, writing, pastoral care, or any number of different areas. Usually this is for a limited, defined time.

Coaching

Coaching (again, my definition) is the providing of guidance, feedback, and direction in response to the one you are working with at the time. The second year I was in Brazil a friend gave me a scholarship for a ministry coach for one year. On a monthly basis we would have a one hour conversation reviewing what I was doing, giving me feedback and suggestions that were very helpful to my work in Brazil. The agendas of our meetings were established by me and he then helped me think through each item. I am still using some of the skills he passed on to me.

These three often overlap and we should not get hung up on keeping them too separate. They are all needed in our lives. I want to be mature in Christ and I want those whom I have primary care for to become mature in Christ. That is going to take more than one person, more than me. Let's rejoice when others are able to impart to those we are relating to more skills and maturity. It is one kingdom.

Feel free to add your comments, definitions and experience. Here are some questions to get the "juices" flowing.

•  How have you experienced these three methods of helping other people in your own life?
  
• Think through the people who have helped you grow. Pick one of them and explain how they imparted what they had to you.
• What was you understanding of “pastor” and how has it changed as you read through this chapter?

Strengths and Weaknesses

One of the primary issues we deal with has to do with our strengths and weakness. The “Peter Principle” states that “every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” (The Peter Principle, Lawrence Peters, 1969) Phrasing it in my own words, we will continue to be promoted until we are unable to fulfill the needs of the last promotion. When this happens, we become frustrated, discouraged, angry, sometimes fired, and unproductive. What does this have to do with leadership in the church? Often times the same thing happens in the church. We see someone who is doing a marvelous job in a particular ministry, move them to another, perhaps more prestigious, ministry and they don’t experience the same success they had previously. Perhaps a common example is an associate pastor, youth leader or small group leader that has been very successful in their ministry and is tapped to be the Sr. Pastor. When the change takes place they do a poor job and constantly struggle with just maintaining the status quo. What happened? They stepped out of their area of giftedness and skill.

As leaders we are expected to be competent in three basic areas: dealing with people, proclamation, and production (The ability to get things done and make things happen whether numerical growth, greater financial contributions or a successful building program, for example.) Few of us, if any, are actually competent in all three areas. This lack of competency causes us to find various ways of coping with our lack: blame others, blame circumstances, avoid issues and people, keep things focused on another area so our weakness is not seen, or demonstrating a humility about our inability and doing nothing to change. This is a quick rode to major trouble in your life and in the life of those who follow you. How do we deal with this?

Recognize your call and your gifting. Yes, “you can do all things in Christ Jesus!” but it doesn’t mean you should or are able do it all. We need to know what we can do well. Where our gifting lies and what skills we have. Then we need to work within those parameters. It all comes from God. (II Cor. 3:4-5 “And such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.”) Rightly discern you gifts and talents with the help of those you trust. Jack Miller states the following spiritual laws: Only God is God; you are not God. See the problem is we have these confused, many times. If we put these laws in the right order we will find we are much more fruitful.

Do a self-evaluation. Ask the hard questions. What can I do that nobody else can do? What are my strengths? What am I good at? Where have I seen results? What do I enjoy doing? After you have answered these questions let someone else answer them for you—being sure to have an open heart to what God might be saying. Face the weaknesses others might see in you. Some of these weaknesses you can improve on with study and work. Others are more a part of who you are and you will need to work with that limitation.

One of the keys to being a good leader is to find people who can fill-in your weaknesses and work together with them. My personal conviction is that we were never meant to work alone. Churches should be led by plural leadership where men can fill-in what others are missing. Then we build a team of real strength under the guidance of God.

Where you can find ways (study, reading, classes, etc.) to improve you skills and weakness, do so. Where you cannot, acknowledge you are in over your head, have the courage to back out and move on, becoming a better leader.

Would love to hear you comments on the following questions.

• How well do you know who you are? What have you done to find out the answer to the question?
• How would you define your strengths and weakness?
• What do you need to do to discover, more fully, who you are and what you are to do?
• Finally, what is one thing you will do this week to become more acquainted with you?

DECISIONS

Anytime we talk about leadership we need to include a discussion on decision making. Have you ever been to a restaurant with some friends? How long did it take to make a decision about what to order? This can drive me crazy. I can be just as indecisive as the next guy. There are times, though, where I decide that it is not my last meal; I am really here to talk and socialize; and it surely won't kill me (no guarantee on this last one) to just pick something. So how do we think about making decisions and the risks they invariably lead us to take?

We need to acknowledge that being a leader means making decisions. In fact this could be some of the hardest work you will ever do. It is not just THE DECISION. It is all the work it takes to get to that decision AND handling the results. Many times it is coming to the realization that there might be several right decisions and you have to choose one. God grant us mercy.

Leadership does mean moving forward. If the object of our leadership is healthy it is growing in some way. If it is growing, decisions need to be made. I can't stand over a flower plant forever without deciding it needs water to survive. If I don't water that plant it has no hope of survival. So it is with our leadership. We can't just stand back and watch life go by. We need to make decisions. They may not always be the right ones--or the best ones. But they need to be made.

One of the reasons that mission and vision is so important is that it helps us make decisions. If God has called me to make the best ice cream (simple example--but tasteful) and somebody asks if I want to make popcorn instead, I know to say NO. God called me to make ice cream. Knowing what you have been called to do and knowing how you are supposed to do it helps you make good decisions. This won't deal with every decision but it does cover some of those that can really mess up what we are doing.

Sometimes you just have to do your homework and make the best decision you can. Where should we open up a checking account? There are many options. You do your homework--interest rates, charges, policies,--and make the best decision you can. It could cause grief later but making no decision is worst.

Procrastination is a real decision killer. Decisions need to be made in a timely manner. Procrastination is, in effect, a decision (usually a bad one) to put something off, and off, and off. What this does in those who depend on us cannot be diminished. They begin to doubt our ability to lead. It also tells them that they, too, can put off their decisions (like paying the mortgage or spending time with the family). Here is an illustration from history. General George McClellan was a leader who avoided making decisions. Early in the American Civil War he was ordered by Lincoln to attack Richmond, Virginia, but he delayed. Historians speculate that if he had made an immediate decision to attack as ordered, the war could have been over in a matter of months rather than dragging on for four years.

More than likely, the majority of your decisions will be made with less than a 100% certainty. We just need to remember we are not perfect. We study, research, pray, listen, seek counsel, and then make the best decision we can with the knowledge and wisdom we have.

Remember that we don't serve alone. We need to involve appropriate others in our decision making process, but, not everyone we know. We need to involve those who have more knowledge or wisdom, those who serve along side of us, and any other appropriate people. Minor decisions should welcome the input of others as well. Much of this is determined by our attitude. What does your heart want? Are you a team player?

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Yep, some of your decisions will be wrong. Or, they won't work out as anticipated. I am pretty convinced that if we do our part, with hearts really seeking what is right, we will come out OK at the end. It may be rough going. You may learn many painful lessons. You will receive a few accolades. You will gain wisdom and strength. It is so important to acknowledge our errors and to evaluate our decisions honestly if we are to serve the people who are following us.

What are your comments?

• What is your basic decision making process?
• If someone invited you to go on a one year mission trip how would you arrive at the decision? Be honest. What are some things you should change in that process?
• Think of a bad decision you have made and explain how you could have done a better job.

LEAD CREATIVELY

As we think about leadership it becomes apparent that there are different styles of leaders/leadership. I want to offer some ideas of the different styles of leadership we can experience. Some of these overlap and you probably never use only one in a situation. Remember, we are talking about an overall style of leadership that is very different from what the business or political world shows us. We are talking about servant-leadership. Our goal is not control but release. We want to develop people is such a way that they are able to do the same for others. My "success" does not depend on my "disciples" but on their disciples. Have my disciples been able to pass on to theirs the life and style of leadership I have tried to pass on. Our life in the church is described as a body and implies that each part has a critical part to play in its life.

Some of the ways you might express your leadership follows. You will need, if you continue in leadership, to use all of them at sometime.

Hands on direct leadership: Here you accept responsibility for the task and the results. At the beginning of a training relationship this type of leadership could serve well. You've just met someone who wants to learn to be a leader. You begin by having him watch you in a specific task where you are directly responsible for the result.

Model: Perhaps this is one of the strongest training methods and one of the most dangerous. We are not perfect. We need to model our strengths as well as our weaknesses. This requires wisdom and humility. This style also requires substantial time with the trainee(s). It does not take place in a once-a-week one hour meeting. The trainee needs to see us in many various situations--and be able to talk about them later.

Partner: Here you are working together. You become an anchor or support but you do the work together, helping others develop their abilities and sharing the desired results. It is important that you don't take a "do this" approach.

Coach: You will spend time with your charges, training them in specific skills and then releasing them to use those skills in various situations without you. If you are to succeed, you will bring them back in, talk about the results and any challenges, re-teach some skills, and send them back out again.

Teach: This, perhaps, is the most abused style (along with the direct leadership). Leaders often think that their only responsibility is to present their "vast" wealth of information and then they are finished. There is a time for teaching and it is an important, necessary gift and style. But it is best used along with some of the other styles and rarely by itself. You may have a gifted teacher who speaks to your charges but you need to work with what they have learned and challenge them to apply the new knowledge so it becomes more than just information.

Advice: This should be used as doors open for the same. Giving advice when it is not asked for (please note that this does not mean a direct question but an openness to hear) can create a gulf between you and your charges. Listening and responding at the right time is critical skill to learning.

Counsel: Some may come alongside of you and need help in relating some theory to practice. They may need help in clarifying some things God is saying to them and ask for your counsel. Remember you are not God and what you can give them only comes from your life and understanding of God (limited).

Facilitate: This type of leadership is indispensable. This leader may draw up an agenda and help a group work through the agenda. Or he may just be asked to do the same from someone else’s agenda. He may lead a small group of people who have a common task and he helps to see it through to the end. This means giving up your personal agenda and beginning to work with a group in a creative process, as a servant. Often the most difficult part of this style of leadership is, not talking. Let others do it.

Observe: Hopefully as you work with your trainees you will take time to watch them in their service. Often, I would rather be part of a service and observe what is going on if I am responsible for the leader. It is a difficult position because when the "big guy" comes in they want him to teach or minister. We need to be in these meetings as members if we are going to observe our charges at work. Take time afterward to use some of the other styles to continue working with the leader.

We are called to be leader-equippers-servant. Never are we the end. We want to lead in such a way that those we lead will quickly be leading others in a way that they too will be leading others. Sometimes we need to get over ourselves and realized that Jesus is most important and we are all his body.

TO GET YOU STARTED ON COMMENTS

• What is your favorite or most used leadership style?
• What style have you been under the most?
• What do you need to do to become a better leader-equipper-servant?
• What can you do this week to move in this direction?

HELPING PEOPLE TO GROW

As a budding leader, there are many things that you can do to help people move on in their relationship with the Lord. These are not given in any specific order but should become part of who you are as a leader.

• Probably one of the most important things is to get to know your people. This means much active listening. Doing so will challenge you because they will express great diversity in personality, style, and opinion. In most cases they are going to be different then you--thank the Lord. Let them do it their way, with guidance. We can never hope to help people become who God’s wants them to be without knowing who they are. 

• Asking for their opinions and interacting with them in a way that permits them to express themselves openly will build trust. Remember you are not a god. They may have some better ideas. It is always better to listen, and hear what others have to bring to the table. Let them hear your opinion as opinions and not commands. This is not an easy thing to learn. We tend to be passionate about those things that express who we are and our passion comes across, many times, as a command or decision. 

• Be supportive and helpful as they solve their own problems. You don’t have to have all of the answers in order to lead or pastor. Asking good questions (another topic/another time) rather than giving them all the answers helps people to grow from their problems far more effectively. This can be a painful process because we have to watch them go through the consequences of their decisions and conclusions. It is not a time to walk out but a time to walk beside and support. 

• Affirm and recognize their contributions. Nothing is more disheartening for someone than to do a great job and then you take the credit for it or give no recognition of a job well done. From personal experience this is incredibly important. I have great men surrounding me who have affirmed the work that I do. Feels good. 

• Provide them with educational aids and opportunities. Remember that your charge, disciples, trainees need to be continually challenged. You must let them gain insight from other resources. They may need your help in finding those resources. Point them in the right direction for research and learning. Share with them what you're reading from books, magazines, and the internet. Invite them to join you as you go to conferences. Encourage them to go to conferences that are of interest to them and to share with you about them later.

•  Build on their strengths. Help them to do what they do best, better. If needed, help them discover what it is that they do well. 

• Help them define goals that are realizable (not too small or too large but big enough that they are stretched as they reach for them) and that will build their confidence This can be big. Young leaders will often think they can do more than they can. And often they can be afraid of doing new things. Setting goals with them, encouraging them, and then congratulating them on a job well done will take them miles. 

• Learn to listen. Doing this one skill effectively not only helps you to understand your disciples but teaches them how important it is. Ask questions and then LISTEN. Do not be formulating the next question. Let their sharing guide your questions. 

FOR YOUR JOURNAL 

• How are you doing as the servant-leader?
• How are you building people?
• What are you doing to help people become better at what they are doing?
• What has been your focus in leadership--people or your ministry?
• Write down a number of ways you can increase your focus on people as you continue to lead.
• What about today? What can you do today the move yourself forward in this area? 

I hope you understand that these are not all original thoughts but the culmination of years of being under leaders who have invested in me.

Finally, share with us, in the comments, how you have experienced any of these qualities of leadership in your own lives.

PRIMARY JOB

When we are talking about the church we need to always remember we are talking about people and not facilities. Keeping that in mind, we can talk about our primary task--both as leaders and as Christians. We have a mandate to develop people. "And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^£ the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20 ( ESV ) )

"And he gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ." (Ephesians 4:11,12)

Leadership comes in many styles (according to the gifts and call God has given a person). But in a very generic way ALL leaders have the same call--equip the saints, build up people, focus on others. Leadership never was about my building my vision and my "kingdom" (however you want to define that word). Jesus, in fact, never did build a new synagogue or church building or school or town. What he did do was invest his life in a group of people and made them the best they could be. He helped them develop what God had given them. He sent them out to do the work, not trying to do it all himself. He understood his own mortality as a man and that some day he would leave and these people he had spent three years with (his disciples) would be without him. He wanted them to be ready to duplicate his work.

Our job, our ministry, is to help people have better lives and greater success in their particular part of God's kingdom. Not bigger churches--but bigger people. We want to develop people who will more fully yield to God (even more than we have) and can serve Him by serving others. Most, if not all, people want to grow, mature and become more than they are. They are made in the image of God (yes, even those who don't want it) and as such have potential far greater than they, or we, often imagine. We all need other people to help us move forward and grow. In the plant world things don't bear fruit or grow all by themselves. They need water and air and sun, and at times even dryness and darkness, to become what they were created to be. We cannot, and were not meant to, do this by ourselves. We want to teach people to establish realizable goals (not necessarily easy or small) and then help and encourage them to reach them.

If you are a young, aspiring leader just beginning to think these things through, this is not as difficult. You begin your leadership journey by doing this. You focus on and build people. If, however, you have been in leadership for any period of time this may require a major refocus of your priorities and thoughts. This, then, becomes part of your own growth on your journey of leadership. You can begin by filling your agenda with the names of people in whom you can invest. Don't just meet with them but begin to get to know them and let them know you. One of the most interesting experiences I ever had took place at the church I was pastoring. Early on we had regular "community meetings" where we worshiped but also did a lot of business and sharing of our lives. It had been awhile since I had had a vacation. I made the comment that I really needed the upcoming vacation. Afterwards one of the young men came to me and expressed his gratitude that I would share something as intimate as my personal need for a break with them. It's our lives that we are sharing in discipleship, not just our knowledge.

Another way of moving into this type of leadership is to ask what you are doing that someone else could do. Begin to back away from some of your responsibilities and allow others to grow into them. Another option is to send them out to begin their journey of leadership. Don't abandon them but walk along side of them. Encourage them. Pick-up the pieces, when necessary, and put them back together. And send them out again. They are going to make mistakes, even fail, and we need to tell them that that is part of the process of growing and maturing.

Our primary role, then, is developing people. It is not wielding authority but empowering people (serving people so that they can do their jobs). Jesus gave us some words on the subject.

Matthew 20:25-27 (NIV) Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave.

John 13:13-17 (NIV) "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Seems pretty clear that our real role as leaders (remember Jesus was speaking to his future leaders) is to serve.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• Where have you found yourself off course and building things instead of people?
• If an outsider looked at your activities during the day explain what they would see at your primary job.
• What are you doing that someone else could do with a little bit of training?

HOLY SPIRIT MOVES

I love the Holy Spirit! This is one of my favorite topics—and relationships. Over the years I have seen the Holy Spirit do amazing things. From salvation, to healing, to signs and wonders, I have come to appreciate my limited knowledge of how he works and makes himself known. Having seen him work on five different continents in very different ways, my heart is more open to what he wants to do—and how he chooses to do it then ever before.

When I was growing up some TV shows encouraged you to sing-a-long. They would put the words on the screen and then a bouncing ball would bounce from word to word to help you sing along. Some people today think that the Holy Spirit is like the bouncing ball, touching the earth every now and then to help us out.

One of the great mistakes we make is to believe that what we know about the early church is the "holy grail" of church life. For some reason it is thought that the Holy Spirit began everything at Pentecost, established the church by about 300 AD and then disappeared. Wrong. The Holy Spirit has been with us from the beginning. He has been working in the church since he came and he will continue to do so until Jesus returns.

So...we need to respect what the Holy Spirit has done in history. Not everything is his doing for sure, but he has been at work through the ages. In the midst of the worst of the church there has always been a light in the world. In the midst of the Dark Ages, for example, there was a move of God in Ireland. In our prejudice and pride we often do not see it. We forget that the church (one, holy, catholic and universal) has consistently challenged the world and brought great improvement throughout its history. There are periods of disgrace, the Crusades, for example. There are periods where it may be very difficult to see the Spirit working. Our faith and God’s word tell us that he was and is still alive and living on earth.

This work is not just in signs and wonders, though if we look through history we will see these in various places, but in the very foundations of our current world cultures. The church in all of its glory and sinfulness has been the primary cause of positive change in the human condition. It has even promoted tolerance in the midst of prejudicial intolerance. Tolerance is seen in the way Jesus loved people. He understood that they, Jews and non-Jews, were made in the image of God. We see this prejudicial intolerance in the church in the treatment of heretics during the Inquisition, the reformation and the way one reformer (movement) treated another, and today, in the treatment of homosexuals, drug addicts and myriad other "sinners." We are told to love our enemies and yet we find ourselves much closer to hate than love.

As you consider this topic it would be good to do some personal investigation into church history. It is not all pretty. But open your eyes to see beyond the prejudices you were raised with to see the work of God throughout the history of the church.

From the personal perspective we need to embrace the work of Holy Spirit since He came at Pentecost.

You might want to view Francis Schaeffer’s series “How Should We Then Live?” It is available on DVD from Amazon and other locations. A quick search at any of the online bookstores will provide you with a number of books on the subject of church history.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• Each of us in our own way have developed some negative attitudes towards the church. What are yours?
• Think of the churches you think of today when you hear "dead" or "cold." Explain how you think they got that way.
• Pick one historical period, as short or long as you like, and explain how the Holy Spirit was working during that time.

OUR LIFE POSITION

John 17:15 ( ESV ) ¹⁵I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.^£

The implications of this Scripture are that we are in the world and we are to stay away from the evil one (present in the world-not be a part of the evil of the world).

When Jesus tells us to be in the world but not part of the world he places before us a bit of a challenge. What does he mean? I think we can define world as that which is outside of faith. This is a definition that looks beyond a specific church or denomination, culture or doctrine.

Now we need to define IN and PART OF. I would suggest that the term IN refers to our relationship to those things outside of faith. This would include people, systems, and things. We, falsely, think that we can hide away in our facilities and protect ourselves, and/or our children from the “world.” If we protect them, we surmise, they will grow-up into great Christian leaders. In this setting, decisions are made for us by people who have our best in mind. It is not necessary for us to make decisions about our relationship to the world if I stay in these “safe places.” However, our primary model, Jesus, did not live this way. He walked in the “world” and interfaced with them. Check out the story of Zacchaeus. (Luke 19:1-10)

PART OF the world would indicate to me an embracing or ownership of the principles, values, and actions of those people who are not walking as our model, Jesus. This becomes a dangerous place. Many people in our churches are not walking as our model, Jesus. Many of us disagree on what that even means. Rather than question, argue, struggle and work through these questions we hide in our own private places and hope no one will challenge our walk. Personally, as one growing in leadership skills, it is necessary to define some of these things. What principles, values or actions are worldly and therefore the wrong source of input? One obvious principle that is usually assigned to the world is materialism. But what does that mean? What is materialistic? Is it spending $40 for gift? Buying a Chrysler rather than a Chevrolet? Shopping at the Mall rather than Wal-Mart? Again, we come to a place where we need to define for ourselves and then extend a great amount of grace to others.

From these last two paragraphs it should be clear that we can be in the world and not part of it. We don’t need to hide away in our “safe places” but can interface with the culture around us without embracing its values. Is this dangerous? Sure it is. Is it exciting? Oh, it can be. Will it support our life together in faith? I think the lack of this interaction with the world is the reason our faith is so weak. Perhaps it is why we fight so much with each other.

So what does it look like when we are in the world? It does not mean giving up on the church! It might mean redefining some of our understanding of the church and how it does business. In many ways it will make the church a messier place. We need to be loving and caring for people who are not of faith; bringing these people into our faith relationships when appropriate and sharing our life with them. We can’t do that as long as we separate ourselves from them. There is a need to interface with their friends (we need to have friends that are part of the world) and their culture without condemning it. Going to their places of play (with some discernment), reading and listening to their stuff so we can better converse with them and then not giving up on them when they don’t respond to our presentation of the Gospel in the first 10 days or months or years..

Do we have friends that are not in the faith? Good friends? Ones we like? Ones we love? We will find ourselves in places that Christians might not normally frequent. But more important than the places are the relationships we will build for people we really care about. If we really care we will find ways of bringing Jesus – our best friend – into these “worldly” relationships. Eventually these friends join us as we live in the world but are not a part of it.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• In you life story, how have you experienced this concept?
• Do you have friends who definitely look to the church as a safe haven and protection from the world? How does this affect their way of life?
• What can you do this week to become more IN the WORLD without becoming PART OF IT?

HEART OF FLESH

Ezekiel 36:26 (NIV) ²⁶I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

What does this heart of flesh look like? Where does this heart of flesh come from? What does it mean as a disciple of Jesus? What does it mean for a developing leader?

We need to understand that this heart of flesh is replacing one of stone. One that is hard, unfeeling, cold and unchangeable. The heart of flesh is the opposite. It is soft, tender, moldable and warm. There is one other characteristic that I think is perhaps the most important. The heart of flesh can be hurt. A knife can penetrate it. Parts can be cut from it. Not a very safe thing to have, is it?

The heart of flesh appears when we come to grips with the fact that we are not complete; that we don’t have all the answers. When we begin to pontificate about things spiritual and forget that God is even bigger than we are we are functioning with a heart of stone. When it suddenly hits us that we are not perfect, that God’s voice to us is through our own filters and many times misunderstood, and that we are pompous, we begin to understand the “heart of stone” and experience that “heart of flesh.” When loving is more important then being right, we are beginning to see the heart of flesh formed within us. And yes it is painful.

There are times when we are so caught up in ourselves that we think we can do anything. We take on a project that is far beyond our capabilities but we are sure we can do it. We have been taught to be independent and to stand on our own. We do it well—being independent and standing on our own. All of us, though, at some point find ourselves in the middle of some vast ocean, alone, and with no one in sight to help. This might be in our struggle with sin, with relationships, with finances, or any other area of our lives. We sink—once, twice, and as we go for the third time we cry out—GOD! Help me. Our Father hears our cry and we find that we are no longer in the ocean. We have been saved. We throw ourselves on His mercy. These are the times that our hearts become flesh. When life has gone too far for us to control and we know we need someone to take control—God.

It may happen when the world seems to be falling on top of us or slipping out from under our feet. Things beyond our control begin to chip away at our stability—at the ground on which we walk. Loss of job, death of loved ones, broken relationships, or other “disasters” strike our lives. We want to quit! We want out! We find ourselves collapsing under the weight of our “situation.” At some time in this chain of events we break down or we turn to one who is able to bring us through. We find ourselves, once again, to be children looking to our Father for his love and care, surrendering to his will. These are painful times.

There are other times when choosing to do the right thing is going to cause us suffering. Keeping my mouth closed when others are accusing me of wrong doing. I remember years ago when I took some action because of information I had as a pastor. It would have been wrong of me to share those details. There were some who were not happy with my decision and felt that I needed to pursue a situation that was really out of my power to change. I could not defend myself without revealing pastoral confidences. Those times will come your way. You will suffer. And yet it is those times, too, that will bring the “heart of flesh.”

We find ourselves in good company. Luke 4 shows us some of the rejection that Jesus experienced. He experienced the denial of his closest comrades. Paul suffered many times and in many ways as he followed his savior. John, the writer of the gospel and letters, suffered persecutions, as did most of the followers of Jesus in the early church. You may not experience persecution or martyrdom but rest assured you will suffer as you walk into the way of leadership.

Yet, I believe that it is the pain and suffering that allows the “heart of flesh” to be planted in our heart and that it is a key to the success of a leader. A leader who is not willing to suffer will never be the leader that God is calling for today.

As you pursue this "never-ending walk into leadership" and take up the position to which God has called you, you will know that you have a heart of flesh because of the pain you will suffer. You need to be able to love with no expectation of reciprocal love. You need to give when the person in front of you is a taker and never responds. Sharing the gospel with a sinner who rejects the gospel is a very painful experience.

A heart of flesh is also an open heart. There are people around you that the church says to stay away from because they will be negative influences in your life. We need to be in the middle of these people if our God is going to infiltrate their lives (Matt 28:19-21). Oh sure, some will come to faith because of a tract or radio or TV, but most will never consider the gospel because they have never experienced anyone who lives the gospel. What we live within the safe walls of our churches is a part of the gospel (Acts 2:42-77), if our lives are being transformed into Christ. But can this be the complete picture when we see that Christ walked among sinners—among the worst. He was willing to stop and listen, to heal and to teach, to touch and weep. Is today's church going to impact the world? Are we, as leaders going to get off of our self-made thrones and walk among God's (each one was made in his image) hurt, bleeding, and suffering people. The Prince and the Pauper is a cute movie that in a simple way shows what happens when we leave the protective walls of our castle—ah, church. Watch the film sometime and see what truth you can find there.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• Convinced that you have experienced both a heart of stone and a heart of flesh in your life explain how they differed in feeling and in outcome.
• How has your church experience encouraged you to move out into the world of the lost?
• Write about any fears you might have regarding having a heart of flesh. 

INTEGRITY

"I will be there!"

The event comes and goes…and you never show. There may have been a good reason you could not keep your commitment and yet you never communicated that you would not be there. How important are the words we speak? They are much more important than we think. Are you someone who says you will do something and then forgets? Are you known for being late or not fulfilling your promises?

1 Peter 3:10 (NIV)  ¹⁰For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."

The question is what is deceitful speech? Is it only when we intentionally tell a lie? Does it include the light-hearted remarks we make and the automatic responses we toss at each other in our conversations? Technically, you are probably safe in some of those areas. Perhaps a better question is, "Am I honoring those I'm speaking to in what I say?" When we make a remark like "Let's have lunch sometime," we probably are not taking part in deceitful speech. If, however, we don't follow-up on it, am I honoring that person? My word, what I say and how I follow-up, establishes the kind of person I am.

How important are words? In Genesis God gives man the responsibility of naming his creation. What man called something was its name. When the father blessed the son it was a finished deal that could not be reversed. (Check out Isaac’s blessing of his sons in Gen. 27.) The prophets caused it to rain by their words. And the greatest declaration, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. (Jn. 1:1-3) THE WORD is the Son of God, Jesus. How significant that God uses “word.”

The parent who constantly refers to their child as stupid, dumb, worthless, a mistake, or an embarrassment are not just "spouting off." They are affecting the outcome of their child’s life. Word’s are not just sounds from our mouths.

Can people depend on us to do those things we say we are going to do? Are other people important enough for us to be concerned about what we say to them? Most often the only person we are thinking about when we are chit-chatting is ourselves. When we are with close friends we are extended much grace. They understand the type of person we are. They understand our sense of humor. They understand that our words may not be important to us. If we say that we will be there, they know we won't. (I'm not sure if this is grace or enablement.) It certainly is not how I want to be known.

We establish patterns in our lives that become automatic. When we meet new people our "automatic" ways can become very problematic. Suppose you meet someone for the first time, have a nice chat and say you will call for lunch sometime. Then totally forget about it. Friends understand—kind of. This new person however may have had many poor experiences with people in the church whose word is not important. They really thought you might be different. You were their last attempt to follow this Jesus. You never called. This person sees that Christians don't care.

Our culture is full of stories of people who spoke harshly to a parent, child, or friend only to find that they were the last words they would ever speak to that person. The person is dead but the one who spoke those harsh words must now live with their words. In some cases this leads to major psychological problems and years of suffering.

We need to understand that our words are important. People don't know what we are thinking. They only know what we say and do. Our impact as leaders will be greatly determined by our words. None of us is perfect! We will forget things, speak at the wrong times and say the wrong things. Our goal though needs to be “...excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us..." (2 Corinthians 8:7 NIV) When we fall short of this we need to learn to ask forgiveness quickly and sincerely.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• You already have a reputation among your friends and family. If someone were to ask them about your speech/word patterns, how would they answer?

• Explain how you think about commitments and promises made to people and how good you are at keeping them.  What about small things like being on time, or getting things done?

• Remember we take small steps. What is one thing you are going to do to "excel in speach..." today or this week.

DON’T QUIT

Having arrived at this page, I hope you have kept your journal. Go back to PERSONALITY  frequently and continue to let God adjust your personality and to challenge and change you. One character trait that we are going to look at in this chapter is being a person who finishes what he starts.

How many people have started out on a project - one they thought God had called them to - only to quit before they finish? There are all kinds of excuses. It was too hard. I forgot. Nobody was helping me. Something else came up. I just didn't feel that God was in it. Please understand, these can be good reasons for not finishing a project. More often than not, though, they are not legitimate reasons to quit but just excuses. How do you know the difference?

First we need to be sure we chose a task for a good reason and with good motivation. Suppose God has called you[1] to the mission field (you believe he has). Now (use your imaginations) you are in the midst of college (which is not an unusual time to get that call). Many people think they should quit and get at it. Others will finish college and having a substantial student loan debt they will get involved in something interesting (to pay back the  loans) and either forget the call or have excuses for not following through. We are not a people who like to wait - carrying a call for many years before we start. It may help to understand that God has carried you and your call since the beginning of time. He is patient. When God calls you to do something part of that call is the preparation for the call. That can mean school, training, short-term trips, other ministry, relationship development, and any number of different life experiences - maybe finishing this book. We often fail to understand that God is active in everything that is going on in our lives.

In 2003, after 23 years of pastoring a great church, God called Joanne (my wife) and I to full-time missions in Brazil. We understood that the 55 years we had lived on this planet were a preparation for this call, for this time in our lives. There were years of dryness, times of great pain - and great joy - times of abundance and times of want. We would not be who we are today without those experiences. For some reason we, as a people, have a very short attention span and a great deal of impatience.

It is worth looking at some Biblical leaders. Pick out two (David, Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Paul, Saul and/or others of your choice) and do a study (use your journal) of their preparation time for ministry. How old were they when they began their ministry (remember ministry is what you do in response to God's call on your life). What took place in their lives that would prepare them for this time? Explain how their successes and failures were tutors on their way to leadership. As you study their lives, consider how you would have reacted? Would you have quit? Acted differently? Why? As they entered ministry their success and failures continued. How did they finish and what part did these successes and failures play in the finishing of their ministry? How did God test each before they walked fully in their call?

If we know that God has called us - and we have all been called - then it is important to commit to finishing. Sometimes I look back and wonder how many lives might have been different had I not given up on them. How would my life be different had I finished what I felt God call me to do in this place or that. Don't give up. Don't quit. Have you been distracted from what God has called you to do? Finish well what you are currently doing and get on with what God has called you to do. In closing, consider the following Scripture verses.

Acts 20:24 (NIV) ²⁴However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.

1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIV) ²⁴Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Galatians 5:7 (NIV) ⁷You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?

2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NIV) ⁷I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV) ¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• How have you been struggling in figuring out what God wants you to do with your life?
• Think back and write about a couple of areas where you did not finish. Include why you started, what you experienced in the middle of it and why you quit before it was finished.
• What are you in the middle of right now? How can you finish well?

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[1] Just a quick note about God's call: I am not speaking only of the pastorate or missions. I believe God calls us to all walks of life. Businessmen/women, doctors, lawyers, dentists, or any other profession or job (yes, even being a laborer) can be calls from God. Open you heart to his call. Some people have a very narrow definition of ministry. Don't believe it. Wherever God calls is ministry.

THE CHURCH

Leadership in the Christian world has to focus on the church. We are all part of the body of Christ—the church. When we speak of Christian leadership, whether it is in the church or in the business/political field, we are talking about a relationship with the church. It is not a small subset of our relationship with God. It is the key to our life in Christ. Let’s look at it from three angels.

First, the church is a community of people. It is not a building. We are called the family of God with core values of love, loyalty, and mutual support. Life in a family revolves around caring for the weakest person, normally the baby. Perhaps our experience of church would be much fuller if we focused on raising new—baby—Christians into mature family members rather then being so concerned about ME and what I need in my life. What we all get from membership in this community or family is security. We can feel safe and protected.

Second, the church is a cause. Paul talks about soldiers and we talk of the army of God. We are told in Ephesians 6 to put on the armor of God, most definitely warrior attire. We have wars to fight, prisoners to take, enemies to be conquered and prisoners to be rescued. The core value for us, as an army, is winning the war or furthering the cause. The key person is the one most highly committed to the cause. You become a part of the army by volunteering and the leave through martyrdom or the end of the war. From these battles we obtain glory and reward from the Lord.

Third, the church is a corporation exemplified by the fact that it is an institution. The value in this third angle is managing itself efficiently and effectively, so we can go on in history. This corporate part of the church assures that we are able to do things together. Plans are made. Budgets are set. Calendars and spreadsheets help us work together. The most productive person becomes the key. With the gifting of administration there is an assurance that everything is done in good order.
(1 Cor 14: 40)

The church is a union of all three of these angles or perhaps circles is better. They must intersect for the church to be truly fruitful. If we ignore the CORPORATE side of things we do not plan or budget well. We start to “build” and run out of money or energy. Often time there is no structure that allows for the body to care for itself. Without the CAUSE we become ingrown and introspective—navel gazers. There is nothing to cause the adrenaline to flow. There is nothing outside of ourselves. Ignoring COMMUNITY leads us into a life that is not family-like. It is simply another project to get done. We don’t care about the young ones amongst us and we certainly aren’t going to give ourselves to each other.

We—the church—needs leadership in all three areas. There may be an overall leader that is weak in two of the three circles but if he is truly God’s leader he will build a team around him and work with them in areas of his deficiency. You and I need to understand our gifting and what our purpose is work in that area with the comfort of knowing the shepherd has put us there. The more we understand these three spheres of church life the more effective we will be as a church and as leaders.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

1. What are you gifts? In which area are your gifts best suited?
2. How can you use your gifts to support those around with different gifts?
3. Explain, in your current situation, which area is the weakest and which is the strongest.

LEARNING

One of the difficulties of using books for discipleship is that we move too fast. For growth to take place in our lives we have to process, in some form, the material we are considering over a period of time. I remember taking a course on how adults learn in graduate school. The statement was made that an adult had to encounter something 52 times before it became a part of them. That could be in writing, art, listening, reading or any combination of these. In addition it is said that it takes 4 to 6 weeks of consistent "doing" before an action becomes a habit.

Discipleship (learning, being a student) during the time of Jesus would have been the standard way of life. Beginning about 6 years of age, and continuing until they were ten, they new the Torah (first 5 books of our Bible) by heart. Their goal was not just to know the Torah but to live their lives according to it. If it was God’s word and “tasted like honey on the lips” it was something that should impact their whole life. Rob Bell, in Velvet Elvis, makes the point that it seems like everyone in Jesus’ time new the Scriptures. This is why. After the age of ten, if they were gifted, they would continue to work with the Rabbi of the village. They would memorize the other books of the Old Testament, study the traditions, consider other Rabbi’s teachings, and, interestingly, study how to ask questions. We cannot, nor should we, duplicate exactly the methods used 2000 years ago but we need to learn that discipleship takes time. You will need to take time. You will be pursuing the most important relationship you will ever have and you will need to take time.

The dilemma is that most readers will finish this book in less than 30 days, if it is any good (and if it is ever published). The needed changes that you will discover about yourself cannot take place in 30 days. In the FOR YOUR JOURNAL section of the last chapter I had you choose one thing to develop in your personality. If you are “normal” you will have discovered a long list of changes that need to be accomplished. How do we do this? How do we MOVE THE MOUNTAIN THAT WE ARE to become what God has for us?

If you are really serious about becoming all God has for you, find someone who will pastor /mentor /coach you through this process. This should be someone you respect and can submit your life to, fully. You should expect to pursue this relationship rather than depend on them to pursue you. Take the initiative. If there is no one older and more mature you could do this with a friend. It will probably be more difficult and slower and each of you would have to be committed to the process.

Do not try and do too many things at the same time. Your list of needed changes could be substantial. Work on one thing at a time or you will get discouraged. Work on it faithfully until you and the person you are working with see a change. Once this change has begun you can start on another item, remembering not to forget the previous. I read in one place where a writer wanted to add a number of good habits to her life. She decided to commit to doing one each month rather than start the year out trying to do all of them. One is possible, but 12 are overwhelming. In some cases a single change in our lives will impact many areas of our lives. Generally, though, I think you will see a process of exploring and learning what that single change means. When I became a Christian many things changed. One of the interesting things, for me, was that my language changed. My use of certain words, over time, disappeared without me intentionally trying to change. At the same time my circle of friends changed. Again, this was not intentional. No decision or change that we make is done in a vacuum. Be prepared.

Use your journal. Go back over your answers to the questions and re-read them on a regular basis. Add to your journal your successes and your failures. Don't get bogged down with the failures. They are learning experiences we need to embrace, to learn from and to move beyond.

Pray. Pray for God's help as you allow him to make you into the leader that He wants you to be. Remember it will not be like someone else. You are unique and God's plan for you is unique. Our goal is to help you find and succeed in that plan for your life.

Look for opportunities to apply what you are working on now. If you are trying to listen more, put yourself in situations where you are doing this. Be intentional. If you are going to a meeting where you, usually, do most of the talking, plan on doing more listening. If someone asks you why the change simply answer that you are trying to understand and do not focus on what you are trying to do in your life in your answer. If you are shy and withdrawn go to places where there are people and begin talking. It is almost always safe to ask about their lives. Obviously, the depth of questions has to do with the depth of the relationship. Want to be more of a servant--clean the bathroom. Again. Again. Do it until your heart is serving not just your hands.

This process is one only you can do. No one can do it for you. It will take time and work and patience. If you are faithful and persistent you will impact God's kingdom. In your corner of His world you will make a difference.

FOR YOUR JOURNAL

• Write about some changes you tried to accomplish in the past but did not and why you think you failed.
• Why are you reading this book?
• Assuming you want to become the person God wants you to be, what steps are you going to take to allow this to happen? (Hint: It will not happen through osmosis!)

Personality

That which makes you different from everyone else is your personality. (Identical twins may look exactly alike but their personalities will differ.) Peter, Paul, and the apostles, are worth considering briefly. They were men who would greatly influence the course of history and had very different personalities.

If you remember, Peter was a fisherman who walked away from the family business to follow Jesus. For three years he learned from the Master. Probably not educated, he still had a great understanding of the Scriptures. (Check his Pentecost message in Acts 2.) He was quick to proclaim Jesus as the "Christ, son of the living God." (Matthew 16:16) He spoke when he probably should have kept quiet on the Mount of Transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-6). People have said he was impetuous. Then, at the crucifixion he denies he knows Jesus — three times. And yet, he seeks, and receives forgiveness and becomes a primary leader of the new social network boldly proclaiming the Gospel on Pentecost. He travels the empire proclaiming the message eventually residing in Rome where he is finally executed with his wife and others.

Paul, if you recall, was a well educated man. He studied with the Pharisee, Gameliel. He was passionate about his Jewish faith. He wasn't satisfied just to see the Christians in Jerusalem persecuted and eradicated (Acts 8:3). He asked for letters that gave him permission to pursue the Christians into the Diaspora (those areas outside of Israel where Jews lived) (Acts 9:1, 2). He watched and guarded the cloaks of those who stoned Stephen, the first martyr of the church. He was persistent, passionate and committed. He would destroy this new sect. With his heart made up and with full authority he headed for Damascus. A lightning bolt, a voice, and he was changed. The things that made him a good Pharisee became the things that made him a great apostle. His persistence became 3 missionary journeys. His passion focused on "the way, the truth, and the life." The world needed to know this good news and he would see that they did. Painfully hard at times (1 Cor.) he was yet compassionate and pastoral when we consider his letters to Timothy.

You are not Peter and you are not Paul. And you should not be. You are unique. No one in the world is quite like you both in appearance and in personality. You were created by God in a certain way for a certain purpose. We are all made in the image of God and yet each of us is different. Personality is just one of the ways in which we differ from one another. A short search on the web brings all kinds of definitions and tests. While you can’t trust everything you read, I recommend you try a test or two. They may indicate something about your personality type you hadn't seen before. These are imperfect methods and not definitive but tools that can be useful when well used.

Though personality tends to be consistent throughout our lives, we can modify, I believe, some of the traits. If considered an introvert it is possible to learn how to be more social and effective in social settings. If I am a “glass half-empty” type person I can begin to see the “half-full” glass. If I am the strong, silent type I can learn to become more sensitive and talkative. You may remain more comfortable in your original “package” but to serve God’s people better it may be necessary to adjust and reshape some “natural” tendencies.

If you are an introvert and want to work on becoming more outgoing, you can do so. You can interact and meet new people bringing them into our relationships. While some people may look at you and think you are really outgoing, you will probably have times when it is necessary to get alone and just be by yourself. Personal time becomes very important. You need that time to keep a sense of balance in your life. For the extravert just the opposite happens. You may love being with people and can’t think of anywhere else you would want to be. An extravert is great at attracting people and getting people to know one another. It is important, though, for you to work harder at getting time alone with God and being quiet in front of the Creator. Begin to practice listening to people and being quiet and still. Even if this is mastered you will still need to be among people sometimes just because it is innate to your personality and is where you find strength.

For your journal

• What are some of your personality traits? If you took one or more of the tests include the results. Ask some close friends what they think your traits are and include them in your list.

• Explain which and why certain traits you may or may not have helped you as you walk into your leadership.

• Write out (and ask someone to hold you accountable) one thing you are going to do to try and modify a trait that needs to be changed.